Since Karen's death two months ago, our family has been reflecting on how to keep her legacy alive for her 4-year old daughter, Caroline, so that she can learn more about he mom as she grows up. We've settled on the idea of inviting friends, family, and coworkers like you to write "Letters to Caroline" using the comment function of this blog below.
What you'd like to share is up to you. You comments may run the gamut from hopes and dreams Karen had to simply reflections on experiences you shared with Karen during her life and/or work.
Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us - - and with Caroline!
The Duffy Family
When Karen and I began an investment banking training program in the summer of 1993, I knew that I wanted us to be friends. Like most bankers, Karen was bright, well educated, and ambitious. In other respects, Karen was different. She had a Midwestern sensibility about her that made her immediately likable. She was kind, thoughtful, and grounded, never pushy or self absorbed. Her intuitive nature allowed her to connect with people. She was easygoing and empathetic, and I realize today that she conveyed her deeper feelings more through her actions than her words.
ReplyDeleteKaren was a wonderful friend. We had countless conversations and shared a lot of laughter. We had dinner parties, went shopping, took short trips, enjoyed breakfasts on the Upper West Side with our mutual friend, Marina, listened to each other, confided in each other, and gave each other advice.
Karen’s culinary skills were legendary. She hosted the most amazing dinner parties in New York, which were always full of interesting and fun people. At her instigation, she and I took a daylong cooking class together. We both laughed until our faces hurt that day, but it was Karen who also learned to cook risotto and brine a turkey prior to roasting it. When Karen came over for dinner on the rare occasion that I would cook, she would join me in the kitchen. While she never gave me the impression that she perceived my culinary skills to be as limited as they were, she rescued several of my meals from certain disaster and I was secretly grateful. During our early years in New York, we usually had Thanksgiving with Karen in her home, and I think that we all felt as though we had known each other for years.
One weekend, my husband and I planned a trip to Vermont with Karen and Marina. The four of us chartered a fishing boat and made a pact that each fish caught would have to be kissed by the person who reeled it in. Each of us kissed a fish that day, but Karen happened to be the best angler in our group and cheerfully suffered through kissing more than a few. By the end of the day, we all looked as though we had been pulled from the depths of the lake ourselves. Nevertheless, one of the fisherman from whom we had chartered the boat commented approvingly on Karen’s long legs. We playfully teased her about this comment for the rest of the weekend - and from time to time thereafter.
Shortly after the birth of our first son, Karen was the first friend to visit in the hospital. It had been a very difficult and lengthy childbirth where my husband and I had worried that we might lose Connor. When Karen arrived, she asked how things had gone with the delivery. As I looked at her, tears welled up in my eyes and she said, “I know.” And Karen did know. Karen was so empathetic that I felt as though she understood everything we had endured without my having to say a word.
Over the years, Karen and I lost touch as we moved around, changed jobs, and busied ourselves with our different demands on our lives. Several years ago, she called to say that she had adopted Caroline and what a thrill it had been for her to have this new little baby. We were thrilled for her. Karen’s talents were many, but being a mother was something that Karen was born to be.
Notwithstanding the tremendous fun and excitement we all had living and working in New York, I suspect that Karen’s years with Caroline were the best years of her life. From Karen, Caroline undoubtedly learned what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. Someday Caroline will learn more about her mom and all of the joy and love that her mom brought to so many of her friends and family over the years.
It wasn’t until years after Karen had left New York that I began to more deeply appreciate her tremendous kindness and generosity and the way she conveyed her love for all of us in everything that she did. Someday I hope to have the pleasure of meeting Caroline and sharing in person how fortunate we consider ourselves to have known her mother.
Nita Goggins